I am going to start this off with some startling stats for your consideration....
| Body Image Statistics | Data |
| Percent of all women who are unhappy with their bodies and resort to dieting | 91 % |
| Percent of women who say the images of women in the media makes them feel insecure | 80 % |
| Percent of college-aged girls who feel pressured to be a certain weight | 58 % |
| Percent of girls in 1st through 3rd grade who want to be thinner | 42 % |
| Percent of 10 year olds who are afraid of being fat | 81 % |
| Percent of teenage girls who are, or think they should be, on a diet | 53 % |
| Percent of teenage girls who reported being teased about their weight | 30 % |
| Percent of teenage boys who reported being teased about their weight | 25 % |
| Percent of 15-17 year old girls who want to change at least one aspect of their physical appearance | 90 % |
| Percent of teen boys using unproven supplements and/or steroids | 12 % |
| Percent of girls age 15-17 who acknowledged having an eating disorder | 13 % |
| Percent of women who stated they would consider cosmetic surgery in the future | 40 % |
| Percent of men who stated they would consider cosmetic surgery in the future | 20 % |
| Total annual revenue of the weight loss industry | $55,400,000,000 |
| Total number of people with an eating disorder in the U.S. | 8,000,000 |
And, just a few more powerful statistics...
--Approximately 91% of women are unhappy with their bodies and resort to dieting to achieve their ideal body shape. Unfortunately, only 5% of women naturally possess the body type often portrayed by Americans in the media.
--More than 1/3 of the people who admit to “normal dieting,” will merge into pathological dieting. Roughly 1/4 of those will suffer from a partial or full-on eating disorder.
--The statistics are alarming - male body-image dissatisfaction has tripled in the last 25 years, from 15% of the population to 45%.
Here are some other statistics regarding men and the ideal male body:
- One in ten people with anorexia are male.
- 17% of men are on extreme diets.
- 3% of men binge eat.
- 4% of men purge after eating.
- 3% of adolescent boys use performance-enhancing drugs.
Males and Body Dysmorphic Disorder
One form of male body dysmorphic disorder is muscle dysmorphia, a preoccupation that the body is too small and inadequately muscular. In reality, many of the afflicted men are muscular and large. Compulsive training in the gym is common, as is painstaking attention to diet and dietary supplements. Of particular concern, muscle dysmorphia may lead to the potentially dangerous abuse of performance-enhancing drugs.
So, there you have it. The issue is obvious. Body image, as well as our relationship to both health and food, within our culture is a huge problem. Pun intended, and probably an understatement to boot.
To turn the lens for a moment to the internet and social media, the beginning concept of “hot or not,” a prevailing social media concept
on which most dating apps are based, was first seen online in 2000 with the launching of the photo rating site
Hot or Not. This slogan and site created by two male Silicon Valley software engineers. Now, much of the
culture on social media is, in a way, an ongoing expression of this original
creation. Liking or rejecting people (or
things), as well as the physical appeal of women and girls. Are they hot, or not?
For many girls and women (though this is on the rise for men now), the pressure to be considered “hot”
is felt on a nearly constant basis, both offline and online.
When girls post photos on Instagram, Snapchat or Facebook, they know
they will be judged for their “hotness,” and in a quantifiable way, by numbers
of likes. Social media, which seems to
produce a never ending explosion of selfies, appears to encourage an excessive
focus on appearance for everyone, though especially for girls. This focus is already having serious
consequences. There has been a significant
decrease in empathy seen currently among youth, along
with increase outward narcissism.
Additionally, all this hyper focus on appearance, coupled
with the hyper-sexualization of girls nowadays, is resulting in huge
problems. A 2007 report by the American
Psychological Association found that girls being sexualized (aka, treated as
objects of sexual desire, as things rather than people), in virtually every
form of media including television, music, literature, movies, video games, the
internet, advertising, cartoons, clothing, even toys, resulted in a whole host of mental health
problems.
This included depression, low self-esteem,
anxiety, eating disorders, cutting, and even cognitive dysfunction. It isn’t that girls and women haven’t been
exploited for their sexuality before. Of
course they have, for ages. But the
issue is that sexualization has become the prevailing, prominent, normalized
mode. This influences both how girls see
themselves, as well as how they present themselves to others.
This hyper focus on appearance, as well as a narrowing of what is considered attractive and ideal, along with a hyper masculinization, has extended to men. The male physical ideal continuing to ever narrow. Hyper muscular, good looking, tall, a trim waist but with broad shoulders and huge arms, strong, stealth and fast. Now add to the specified criteria: stoic, unemotional, aloof, independent, nose ever to the grindstone. The expectations for men leave them emotionally closed off, often culturally shamed if they desire or act differently, and on a perpetual chase for this idealized body that, like women who chase such unattainable ideals, leaves them feeling frequently disappointed, unattractive, ashamed, and like a failure.
So many of us, too many, go through life feeling less than
good about our bodies. Believing we
aren’t attractive enough, fit enough, or are just flawed on one way or
another. Holding such negative self-image
close though prevents us from fully sharing ourselves with others, as well as
keeps us from leading as happy lives as we otherwise might.
Our perfection obsessed culture encourages us to view our
bodies as a collection of parts and then further, to continually identify and
reject “imperfections” among them.
A
vast majority of people, sadly, have a body part, or maybe several, that they
have been giving themselves negative messages about for years. The flatness of our stomachs, the size of our
breasts and penis, bald spots for men, thin hair for women, muscle tone,
rounded bottoms, the list goes on and on for things we “should” and thus, do
worry about routinely. When the advertising and media world
around us holds up washboard abs, heads full of hair, and large genitalia as
models of perfection, it’s too easy to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to
those ideals day after day, and of course, finding ourselves coming up short in
some way or another, nearly every time.
But even if we were able to “fix” the things we are convinced
are our worst features, we wouldn’t feel suddenly whole. That’s because by the time people have become
young adults, most of us have internalized the habit of perpetually scanning
our bodies for features that don’t measure up.
This has become something deeply engrained within the majority of us.
What people do not realize is that this continual
rejection of oneself, both when it’s physical as well as internally directed,
prevents them from being able to fully connect in emotionally deep ways with
others. When you carry a belief that any
part or parts of you are unacceptable, gross, ugly or bad, you simply cannot be
completely present with someone else, or for that matter, even yourself. Instead, you will be perpetually assessing
yourself.
The truth is though, that our bodies are nothing short of
miraculous. For all that they are, and
everything they do for us.
They deserve
our compassion, admiration, and even reverence.
Yet, making critical remarks about our appearance often passes for
casual conversation nowadays. And even
for those who don’t criticize our bodies out loud, many of us do so in our
heads daily.
Tasting delicious food, going on an exhilarating run, hiking a mountain, grasping something in your hands, holding someone you love close, watching a brilliant sunset of golds and oranges splashed across the sky, kissing someone you have feelings for, smelling something delicious, experiencing sexual pleasure, the sensation of massage, looking into someone's eyes who you care for, going on a bike ride, painting a picture, swimming in a lake on a hot summer day, dancing, the list goes on and on. All awesome, amazing experiences, sensations, and things that our bodies do and feel.
Learning to love your body as a whole, instead of perpetually picking it apart and remaining ever convinced its never good enough, is a recipe for keeping you from the deepest possible connection/emotional experience you might have with someone otherwise. Its also a recipe for leading a life in which you are never fully happy. In which every day, your self confidence, satisfaction and feelings of self worth are ever on a pendulum, swinging this way and that. Depending on how you ate that day (were you "good"? Or did you "fail" today?), and the intensity of calories burned during your workout. This sets you up for a lifetime of sadness, disappointment, regret, and self loathing.
Important Note: this is not to say one should just throw up their hands and choose to be complacent in being unhealthy, letting oneself go, and/or putting in zero effort to maintain a healthy diet/weight/lifestyle. That is equally a recipe for not feeling good throughout your life. What my message is instead: caring about and maintaining your health, taking care of yourself, all while accepting and even loving your body, as it is, at the same time.
Try it. Do something totally radical. Instead of being one of the vast majority perpetually complaining about and hitting on themselves, how they look, the ways in which they come up short or aren't good enough etc, be one of the few who dont do this. Decide instead, to look in the mirror and like what you see. Make the decision that, while you will take actions in your life to live a healthy one, you will also end the self loathing and instead, focus on what is strong, good, beautiful and great about both how you look and who you are. Do this, and watch your life change.
Try it. Do something totally radical. Instead of being one of the vast majority perpetually complaining about and hitting on themselves, how they look, the ways in which they come up short or aren't good enough etc, be one of the few who dont do this. Decide instead, to look in the mirror and like what you see. Make the decision that, while you will take actions in your life to live a healthy one, you will also end the self loathing and instead, focus on what is strong, good, beautiful and great about both how you look and who you are. Do this, and watch your life change.
When you are able to do this is when you can revel in both your body and your life.
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