Tuesday, June 5, 2018

What is Leapfrogging? And how it can deepen your romantic relationship.

"People relating on a soulmate level can help each other release limiting beliefs, heal their past, and rise above their perceived limitations.  Just as players in the childrens game can leapfrog support one another in moving forward, you and your partner can inspire each other to recognize and unlock your potential in every area of each of your lives."

In an ongoing pursuit for anyone to live a happy, fulfilling life, each of us are growing and evolving in many different directions at once.  Actively developing ourselves in multiple areas, from our career, to our health, or our self worth.  We might be working towards developing  skills in relation to a particular hobby or passion.  Or, we may be working on improving our relationship to money, food, aging, exercise, or sex.

At any point in time, each of us will be stronger and more evolved in some areas.  While simultaneously we will be weaker in others.  This is completely normal, good, and alright.

In a soulmate relationship though, two people in a healthy union, who are well matched, and emotionally close as well as very open to each other, our partner is someone who is uniquely qualified to help guide and support us in this natural process of evolving, growth, and self development.  In fact, your partner is qualified to do this for you better than almost anyone else (save for maybe your very best friends of years).
The reason for this: better than almost anyone else, your partner can likely see your untapped potential.

Your partner sees both your strengths and your weaknesses.  They can see opportunities for you to grow and expand.  They can also detect where insecurity, doubt, or other fears might be holding you back. 
(Note: This is assuming you have been together over many months, and onward.  And have spend a heck of a lot of time getting to know each other and deepening your connection.  That you know one another very well.  Have experienced the other in many varying situations.  Have met each others loved ones.  Have navigated through a couple of serious disagreements together.  Have seen one another in awesome moments, as well as difficult/challenging ones).

Additionally, your partner does not need to be more evolved than you in a particular area in order to offer invaluable support and guidance.  Thats an important thing to remember.

People in a soulmate relationship view both themselves as well as their partner, as continually evolving and growing beings.  And with this view, they lovingly help each other in their pursuits to become the best possible version of themselves.  Soulmates can see their partner as already having made the next step, even if their partner cannot or hasn't seen this yet.

This is the concept of leapfrogging.  Exploring things together continually, regularly urging and supporting growth and new insights in your partner, where they have untapped potential within- which you can see and either they dont yet see or haven't yet gotten up the courage or ambition to act on.
In a sense, a soulmate is your custom made personal coach, spiritual leader, and cheerleader.  Aware of your potential, as well as your limitations, in every aspect of your life.

Important note on this concept of leapfrogging: People relating to one another on a soulmate level recognize that everyone evolves at their own pace.  They understand that sometimes after exploring a particular topic, they will have to let it go for a while.

Just as in the childrens game though, the joy of playing leapfrog is in the process.  And further, the upward spiral of leapfrog creates an extraordinary bond between two people.  When you've taken a leap with your partners help and grown, the two of you experience a further entwining of your souls and mutual growth as a couple.  And this goes both ways, between the one inspiring the growth, and the one responding to and turning towards the prompt.

What Leapfrogging is Not

Leapfrogging is not about pushing your partner in a direction they're not interested in traveling.  Its not about insisting that your partner be who you think they should be, nor what you think they should do.

Instead, it means offering your support, your loving insights and thoughts, all for them to use as guidance and a springboard towards growing if they so desire.  While continuing along a path of their own choosing.

A really cool thing to mention here though: when two people are really tuned in to one another, they are often able to envision possibilities for their partner that their partner hasn't yet envisioned for themselves.  If you see potential in your partner that they dont, and you have a receptive, open, loving space in which to explore anything with one another, offer your vision to them as both a possibility and gift.  If nothing comes from it, at least you will have planted a seed which may take form in the future.

How to Leapfrog Together

You need several tools in order to do play leapfrogging:

--Responsibility: most people haven't yet realized they are the source of their own unhappiness.  Instead, pointing a finger perpetually outward.  When you take responsibility for your own experience though, you are also able to take full advantage of your partners offered assistance.

--Trust: This means that first, you trust that your partner is doing the best they can.  It means that second, you trust their having your best interests at heart.  This also means that you trust yourself to use everything that shows up in both your life as well as your romantic relationship, as an opportunity to grow.  This means that you not only dont resist difficult situations, but you do your best to welcome and get the most from them.

--Willingness: the kind of profound healing and growth that is possible in soulmate relationships requires a willingness to be vulnerable and open.  Avoiding these things with your soulmate can stem from lack of self acceptance, fear of the unknown, or simply insecurity- all of which your soulmate can assist you with, if youll let them.

--Transparency: leapfrogging is most effective when the players are as transparent as possible.  That means they do their best to communicate their full truth, their thoughts, fears, feelings, and desires.  When two people are this connected, keeping something hidden may not even be an option.

Your partner can see possibilities for you when fear if preventing you from seeing them yourself.  Also, trust that if your soulmate sees a positive quality in you, that its really there.

Leapfrogging is ideal for helping us free ourselves from unwanted habits or patterns.  When your partner is offering a higher possibility for you, a potential insight for an area of growth you might move towards, listen with the part of you that is most evolved.

Your soulmate can help you find the higher possibilities in your experiences, so that you can embrace your past and put all you've been through to its best possible use.  In fact, you might find this process of leapfrogging together so empowering that you actually start to search for things in your past to explore together.

And, sometimes its your turn to grow and expand, while other times it will be your partners turn.

Remember that leapfrogging is about experience.  At times, you might occasionally find yourself a little frustrated with your partners progress.  If so, dont be discouraged.  Your partner will not always want to play leapfrogging when you do, and thats ok.  The key is to develop an awareness of when your partner is ready to play.  You can do this by letting go of expectation and of your own agenda, and paying attention instead to your intuition and your partner.

The takeaway here is that the best relationships include growth, both together and as individuals.  Playing leapfrog is a way to build on your trust with one another, support each other, inspire one another, grow and develop, and deepen your connection and the depth between the two of you.

Much of this article was mined from the book, "The Soulmate Experience: a practical guide to creating extraordinary relationships" by Mali Apple & Joe Dunn.

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